‘I have felt the depths of your resolve’

I have felt the depths of your resolve. How shallow they are in my hands. How feeble your attempts to adjoin nonsense. Those non-whimsical attempts of control your media besmears, how they dispel the rumours of your soul and crown them fact. For if I was never a good man, a decent person, or a kind soul, then where do you rank? You took lives. You shattered families. And all the while you thought you were in the right. You were only confused of the meaning of wrong. And a brother in arms, is a brother in all. But you are no brother of mine. Yet I extend my hand in grief of the souls you freed of their vessels, I extend my hand in the pity I sense of you.

For now you lay naked in front of God, no doubt begging for your life. Then what will you say when it is your time to speak? Will you justify the pain afflicted, inflicted? Will you cower in the insecurities that you have always cowered behind, but you chose not to see. Now the bullets you fired are the same bullets that set you free, where will you stand now? Who will you hurt now? Where will you cower now? And all the while, the mothers cry for their lost sons, the ones they held hands of, the ones they wiped tears from cheeks of, the ones who kissed both times, at birth and death. So what will you say to them? Where in your resolve does empathy lie for them? When will love, beyond common sense, wake you up from your sombre?

And now the dusk, that settles upon the light of your otherwise dark life, will be the last light you see. But if you could redeem, would you? Would you lunge for the hands of the kneeling mothers, and kiss their feet? Would you embrace them in a selfless act of love instead of a selfish act of forgiveness? For that may be what God needs to see to take mercy upon your otherwise merciless soul. God, though, all infinite, must believe in justice, because they surely cannot believe in pain more than love. But what if this is how God is infinite, as their love is infinite? And they love all, guilty and the like, and forgive them as their own children because they believe in forgiveness most. I am not sure if my pain will be dwarfed in a sense of forgiveness for those who I will surely punish. I tried to extend a hand of love, but they slapped it away in a sense of pride and a false sense of duty. And now they lay naked in front of you.

So it is not so much the guilty I question, but the God who may set them free, and let them find salvation, when grieving mothers, still kneeling, crying, bleeding from their souls, are to spend the rest of their lives in tears and pain, and for what? For what!

Oh how I beg you, God, in whatever you may lie, I believe in the truth, and above all the justice that sets us free, so do not forget the values that you gave us to embrace as love was not the only value. For it was the first value, but to uphold it, you gave us truth and justice, but to forget love, or remember it…you gave us forgiveness.

originally written June 5th, 2012 © Copyright Mani Amar

About Me
In self-reflection; I can honestly say all that is good in my life has been a direct result of my artistic expression. Be it through writing poetry, prose, or philosophy, through painting or photography, or through filmmaking, art saved my life and it can save yours.
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